Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Alter-Ego

Now, here's a story I've always wanted to tell. I've just been putting it off. The summer after my senior year, I worked in a plastic factory in Hialeah. For those of you who aren't familiar with greater Miami-Dade County, Hialeah is a labyrinth of churro stands, Cuban cafes with perfect ropa vieja, and industrial facilities due west of the city, adjacent to Everglades. It is the border of the South Floridian frontier, US-27, where people end and animals begin; far away from Mansion Nightclub and the American Airlines Arena. Miles and miles away, but still within city limits.
I wake up in Broward, due north. My eyes flick about to Little League trophies and baseball caps, a map of the United States, and an old Mike Piazza bobblehead. My bathroom is nautical-themed, with whitewashed plywood on the walls. My toothpaste lies in a little rowboat that my mommy both from Ross. A cup of French Roast coffee waits for me in a kitchen with faux-cherry cabinets, and faux-granite countertops. I shake off the eeriness and slip into an abused pair of sneakers, tying the laces in a double knot.
When I’m quite convinced that I’m far enough south to be past the exits where my any family friends or neighbors might be making their commute, I light a Newport. The language on the billboards begins a slow shift. “Se habla EspaƱol… llama ahora.” I exit onto Okeechobee Road and can see the fringes of factory rooftops before a swamp on the horizon.
This part of my typical morning was the tipping point, between my Atonist life and a Jes Grew, latinocentric, alter ego. I turned into a different person, an Alice entering into the fog of heavy industry. Plastic fumes, smoke inhalation, grease dripping off of “dos McChickens.”

(Mumbo Jumbo, with undertones of Heart of Darkness)
http://hotdoghysteria.blogspot.com/2012_09_01_archive.html  

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

These people. Are they lonely too?



A bantering mob of JAPs*, they avoid loneliness like the plague. More precisely, they avoid being seen alone. That could get ugly. And they’re pretty. Nine hundred and forty two friends on Facebook. Surely they aren’t lonely. An infinite bevy of omg’s and love ya betch’s

They seem like my friends’ type, ergo, they’re my type. But I’m deeper than that, right? I’m more introspective and intellectual than bat-mitzvah politics or Town Center on Friday night. They’re photocopies, and, much like my gated community, you have five models to choose from. I historically have a tendency towards the one story brunette SGA members; and a pool would be nice.

I find it hard to believe that the attic is empty in all these suburban houses. I mean, come on, you’re well educated…  you’re college bound. Hit me. Hit me with some poignant observation, some kind of grungy Kerouac-esque point of view. Please decimate my view on your species, because I need a new girlfriend in this town. Bitchslap me with a wisp of strawberry shampooed hair. Take a drag, and tell me what you think about the Republican Party. Tell me all of your untold stories, and don’t worry about keeping it PG-13. I’m 20.

How about your favorite music? Show me Daft Punk!..... Survey Saaaaaayyyyssss….. BIIINNNNGGG! Let’s go with Bob Marley… BIIIIINNNGG! AC/DC…. BIIIINNNGGGG! Ratatat… BING! Jason Aldean… BING! Oh, and the girl sitting alone on the beach sweeps the board! You’ll be taking home the narrator’s heart and a brand new SmartCar! Be sure to play next week, folks… Jeopardy is on next.





*Jewish-American Princess
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