A bantering mob of JAPs*, they avoid loneliness like the
plague. More precisely, they avoid being seen alone. That could get ugly. And
they’re pretty. Nine hundred and forty two friends on Facebook. Surely they
aren’t lonely. An infinite bevy of omg’s and love ya betch’s
They seem like my friends’ type, ergo, they’re my type. But I’m
deeper than that, right? I’m more introspective and intellectual than bat-mitzvah
politics or Town Center on Friday night. They’re photocopies, and, much like my
gated community, you have five models to choose from. I historically have a
tendency towards the one story brunette SGA members; and a pool would be nice.
I find it hard to believe that the attic is empty in all
these suburban houses. I mean, come on, you’re well educated… you’re college bound. Hit me. Hit me with
some poignant observation, some kind of grungy Kerouac-esque point of view. Please
decimate my view on your species, because I need a new girlfriend in this town.
Bitchslap me with a wisp of strawberry shampooed hair. Take a drag, and tell me
what you think about the Republican Party. Tell me all of your untold stories,
and don’t worry about keeping it PG-13. I’m 20.
How about your favorite music? Show me Daft Punk!.....
Survey Saaaaaayyyyssss….. BIIINNNNGGG! Let’s go with Bob Marley… BIIIIINNNGG!
AC/DC…. BIIIINNNGGGG! Ratatat… BING! Jason Aldean… BING! Oh, and the girl
sitting alone on the beach sweeps the board! You’ll be taking home the narrator’s
heart and a brand new SmartCar! Be sure to play next week, folks… Jeopardy is
on next.
*Jewish-American Princess
Accompanying Link:
I think the writer provides a very insightful and interesting perception of how others wish to be viewed by society, and in particular, suburbia. I really can appreciate the social media language and the relation of holding a thicker and deeper personality, rather than being entirely shallow and materialistic. The writer is wishing for a new girlfriend, a breath of fresh air in his life. He wants someone who has that beautiful strawberry blonde hair, yet can speak about politics intelligently. He is also using sarcasm as a ploy to sort of show that the certain types of music people claim to love are just the basics, and there is nothing deep about them at all. The whole post is showing the relationship between intelligence, looks, and wealth, all with a heavy dose of sarcasm and word play. I can honestly say that I enjoy it, for being a blonde myself, it is nice to come across another who can, in fact, speak about something other than money, clothes, and the weather.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate the play on words with Jeopardy, the sound effects, and the conversationalist paragraph that is placed in the middle. All of these little tidbits give the post a dose of character, and give a unique spin on how to characterize stereotypes without blatantly spelling out that that is what is going on.
The part about keeping stories PG-13 is quite clever. I think the writer is going off the fact that many find doing bad things and making "on the edge" choices something to brag about. He is relating this post to his blog in a way that refers to just how badly he wants to get out of this small town, and the faces that people put on, even though they are just as unhappy as the writer is.
The relation of the chosen photo to the post is quite clear: this is the type of girl the writer is referring to when they say "photocopies."
The entire tone of this post conveys the exact frustration and sarcasm that the writer is trying to convey in his writing. While the “JAP” stereotype is one unfamiliar to myself (and perhaps other readers as well), by the end of the post the reader knows exactly the “type” he is describing.
ReplyDeleteThe “photocopy” feel to suburbia is reflected here in its people. Not only are the homes difficult to distinguish from one another, but the available girls also seem lacking in any unique qualities.
The phrase “surely they aren’t lonely” is especially striking to me. The writer hits the nail straight on the head, pinpointing the vulnerability displayed by these “JAPS” and their inability to be alone, which most often is just a mask hiding a profoundly lonely and unfulfilled person.
Perhaps these JAPS are just as frustrated with him as he is with them. After all, the writer also conforms to the societal norms (“They seem like my friends’ type, ergo, they’re my type”) making him, to the naked eye, just a male version of these cookie-cutter girls. Perhaps under all the make up and slang, there’s a “JAP” wishing she could confess her love for AC/DC but assumes he would be unreceptive.
The picture seems very posed and un-real, just like the JAPs the writer is describing. Additionally, just like the girls in the post, this image is readily accessible, the same “model” available to anyone who so desires to click the link.
Overall, the post conveyed an extremely appropriate tone for the sentiment the writer was conveying, and the prose and picture reflected that as well.